does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
