Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
