They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
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I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
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Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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