I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
