Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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