everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
