he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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