I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
