She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize