Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
