hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
