You really coming over, don't trick.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
