Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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