What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
