I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
