atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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