I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
