meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Randomize
