So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
