I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
