DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
