Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
