On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
