the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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