oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize