I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
