wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
