Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
COCAINE IS GR8
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
