some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
