Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
