Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
