Dual....:-)
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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