Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
