you traded sex for a burrito?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
When did angry sex become our thing?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Randomize
