is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I intend to get homeless drunk
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
