hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Enjoy the penises
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
