He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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