just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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