Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
