never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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