omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
