I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize