We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
