Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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