He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I am available for nakedness
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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