Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize