I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I wish they made helmets for livers.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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