We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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