You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
