I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
it was like his penis was on wheels.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
