Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
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i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
She's just so happy...and so naked.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
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