so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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