When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
if only i could text you this smell
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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