he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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