Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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