You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I deserve this hangover.
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