Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
